Taking Life by the Raines

Here's the truth. Nobody tells you that healing gets worse before it gets better. Like actually worse. You start digging, you start going to therapy, you start facing the things you've tucked away for years and for a minute it feels like everything is falling apart. That's not you doing it wrong. That is literally just how it works.In Episode 3 I'm getting into the stuff the self-help books skip over. The real, messy, uncomfortable truth about what healing actually looks like. I'm talking about learning to lower your expectations for people who have proven they're not capable of meeting them. I'm talking about staying put during hard conversations when every part of you wants to run. About outgrowing friendships you never thought you'd lose. About forgiving people who never said sorry. And about why your triggers in your marriage today are almost always rooted in something that happened when you were a kid.I share the moment in couples therapy that broke my heart and then put it back together. The story of my dad running after our car at McDonald's when I was four years old. What my therapist showed me about my body language and why it was making my husband feel like he didn't matter to me. And how I had to stop praying for healing and start actually participating in it.This episode is for anyone in the middle of it. The hard, unglamorous middle of doing the work. I promise you it's worth it.The healed version of you is going to look back at the younger version of you and say, we did it. 💜New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one.📲 Follow Taking Life by the Raines:Instagram: instagram.com/takinglifebytheraines/TikTok: tiktok.com/takinglifebytheraFacebook: facebook.com/takinglifebytheraines/📲 Follow Brandi:Instagram: instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/TikTok: tiktok.com/brandirainesbeautyFacebook: facebook.com/followbrandiraines/About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi🎧 Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts: www.takinglifebytheraines.com0:00 Welcome back — Episode 3 intro0:26 The truth about healing nobody talks about1:47 It gets worse before it gets better — and that's okay3:13 Healing is like peeling an onion — layer by layer4:42 The first step she took — reading her Bible and starting therapy5:12 The wrong therapist — and why you need to vet yours6:21 Starting couples therapy with Casey7:06 The therapist said: you each need to heal separately first7:36 The biggest lesson from therapy — expectations9:27 Lowering your expectations for broken people11:02 Find a spicy marriage counselor who tells you the truth11:43 If your marriage isn't hard, you're not going deep enough14:26 The therapy session that broke her heart — the trash story19:48 Body language as a trauma response22:16 Learning to stay put when you want to run23:11 The McDonald's memory — age 4, her parents divorced25:40 What healing actually looks like step by step28:04 Stop praying for healing and start participating in it29:16 Friendships have expiration dates30:37 Trauma bonding friendships and what happens when you heal32:07 Daddy issues — forgiving what you never had36:32 Therapy gives you the tools — real life is where you use them37:31 Grieving friendships that no longer serve you38:07 Forgiveness is a part of every layer of healing40:10 Forgiving without an apology — how to actually do it42:05 How to have hard conversations and keep the friendship44:22 What healthy boundaries actually look like in real life45:46 You teach people how to treat you47:21 If your friends talk badly about their spouse, that is the enemy49:11 The healed version of you is going to look back and say well done50:07 Where to start if you don't know how to begin healing53:42 Healing your trauma is the best weapon against the enemy54:40 Thank you and closinghealing gets worse before it gets better | childhood trauma therapy | toxic friendships | marriage counseling | forgiveness healing | personal growth podcast women | Christian healing | generational trauma#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #healingjourney #childhoodtrauma #marriagecounseling #toxicfriendships #christianwomen #millennialmom #personalgrowth #faithjourney Powered by ATL Podcast Proshttps://atlpodcastpros.com

Here's the reality. When you grow up in chaos, you learn to survive it. And those survival skills, the armor, the walls, the need to control everything, they don't just disappear when you become an adult. They follow you. Into your marriage. Into your parenting. Into your work. Into every single relationship you try to build.
I spent years not knowing that the patterns I was running on were directly connected to what I lived through as a kid. No hot water. Moving every year. Hiding past-due bills in the mailbox. A house in 10th grade with two mattresses on the floor and no fridge. I thought that was just life. I didn't realize until way later that I had built a whole personality around surviving it.
In this episode I'm getting into the stuff I didn't talk about in Episode 1. Not just what happened, but what it did to me on the inside. Why I couldn't accept a compliment. Why I hit $15 million in sales and still felt like it wasn't enough. Why I was a workaholic and calling it a badge of honor when honestly, it was a trauma response. Why I pushed away the people who loved me the most.
God has been so faithful in my healing. Truly. But I also had to do the work, and I want to help you do it too.
You are not alone if you came from chaos. And it does not dictate where you're going. I promise you that.
 
New episodes every week. Subscribe so you never miss one. 💜
 
📲 Follow Taking Life by the Raines:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/takinglifebytheraines/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/takinglifebythera
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/takinglifebytheraines/
📲 Follow Brandi:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/brandirainesbeauty
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/followbrandiraines/
About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_
Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi
 
🎧 Listen on Spotify & Apple Podcasts: takinglifebytheraines.com
 
In this episode:
How growing up in chaos creates toxic patterns in adulthood
Why being a workaholic is actually a trauma response
My scarcity mindset with money and how I rewired it
The "closet clubhouse" I built as a child just to feel safe
Why I could never accept compliments or celebrate my own success
How childhood wounds affect marriage, friendships, and parenting
Breaking generational patterns, because the buck stops here
What therapy taught me and what you can do without it
childhood trauma healing | trauma response workaholic | overcoming childhood wounds | generational patterns | personal growth podcast for women | faith and healing | scarcity mindset money | women empowerment podcast
#takinglifebytheraines #brandiraines #childhoodtrauma #traumahealing #personalgrowth #womenempowerment #christianwomen #millennialmom #selfimprovement #generationaltrauma
 
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Welcome to Taking Life by the Raines — I'm Brandi Raines, and this is Episode 1.
 
Before the multi-million dollar business, the team of 6,000 women, and the life you see today — there was a little girl from Port Huron, Michigan who knew what it felt like to not have hot water, watch the furniture get repossessed, and parent herself through high school.
 
In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain and sharing the real story of what made me — from an Army brat childhood and two divorces to dancing at Disney World, building a beauty empire from a $2,000 Pell Grant, and the one conversation that changed how I treated people forever.
 
This is the foundation. The rice in the bowl before all the toppings.
In this episode:
• Growing up moving every year & learning to go without
• The 8th grade summer that changed everything
• Going from Michigan to Disney World with $2,000
• The friend who told me the truth about myself
• Meeting Casey & the May 2017 decision that changed our lives
• Why God uses your hardest seasons to prepare you for your biggest blessings
 
If you've ever felt like your past should have held you back — this episode is for you.
0:00 Welcome to Taking Life by the Raines
1:25 What this podcast is really about
3:48 Growing up in Port Huron, Michigan
5:35 Army brat childhood & parents' divorce
6:20 The 8th grade summer that changed everything
8:48 Going to school with kids who had money
12:36 Betrayal, a Pell Grant & leaving Michigan
15:21 Auditioning at Disney World
19:03 The friend who told me the hard truth (Brian)
26:12 Standing up and apologizing to everyone
33:47 May 2017 — the decision that changed everything
37:21 Meeting Casey & building a life together
40:40 Why God uses your hardest seasons
43:06 The challenge for you & what's coming next
 
Subscribe for new episodes every week.
📲 Follow Taking Life by the Raines:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/takinglifebytheraines/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/takinglifebythera
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/takinglifebytheraines/
 
📲 Follow Brandi:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandirainesbeauty/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/brandirainesbeauty
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/followbrandiraines/
About me + my links: msha.ke/brandirainesbeauty_
Shop my Komigo storefront: komigo.me/brandi
 
female entrepreneur podcast | personal growth podcast | women empowerment | faith and business | motherhood podcast | overcoming trauma | self improvement | life stories #TakingLifeByTheRaines #BrandiRaines #WomenEntrepreneurs #PersonalGrowth #OvercomingTrauma #FaithAndBusiness #MomBoss #FromNothingToSomething #PodcastForWomen #MotivationalStories #SelfImprovement #femalefounder
 
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